Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
