If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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