You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
