I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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