Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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