hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I have feelings that need drinking.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
