when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
