found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
