This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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