I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
