"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I can't put those talents on a resume
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
