why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
