if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
