she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
