Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
