he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
