help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
