Sponge bath it is.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
