your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
