If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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