I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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