I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
