I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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