When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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