so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Randomize
