my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
bring money and cleavage
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
