nut hugger
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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