part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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