These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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