I wish my penis had an off switch
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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