What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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