I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
