Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
