i think i have herpe
just one?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
