just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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