So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
