you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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