you guys were way drunker than both of me
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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