i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
