Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
