Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Still dying that you shit outside
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
