If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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