i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
