So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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