Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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