Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
