Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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