Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
