so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I pour the whiskey from now on
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
