Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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