It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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